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Sunshine's
Collection of One
Liners
~ Warning .... this is a lengthy page ... minimal graphics used ... oh darn ~
Visitors since May 26/99
* Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. * Punctual people have nothing better to do.* If love is blind, why are there so many lingerie shops?
* Virginity - you use it, you lose it.
* House work is something you do that nobody notices unless you don't do it.* Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.
* My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. * Friends come and go, enemies accumulate. * The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.* If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
* Beauty is only a light switch away.
* What do you get when you cross Lee Iaccoca with a vampire? autoexec.bat * What would a chairlook like if your knees bent the other way? * The one thing children wear out faster than their shoes
is parents. * How do you know when you're in the middle of nowhere? * Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners
for two...alone. * Diets are for women who not only kept their girlish figure but doubled it. * It's always darkest before you step on the cat. * It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. * Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it. * Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. * Be careful what rut you choose.
You may be in it the rest of your life. * The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. * When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet you're in a public restroom. * Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it. * A closed mouth gathers no feet. * Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. * A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers. * Madness takes a toll - carry exact change.
Why
...
... does the reverse side also have a reverse side? ... is the alphabet in that order?
... is a carrot 
more orange than
an orange?
... is abbreviated is such a
long word?
... are there 5 syllables in
the word "monosyllabic"?
... is there only one
Monopolies commission?
... do scientists call it
"re"search when looking for something new?
... do overlook and oversee
mean opposite things?
... are a wise man and a
wise guy opposites?
... isn't 11 pronounced
onety one?
... are they called
apartments, when they're all stuck together?
... do people without a
watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
... do you ask someone
without a watch what time it is?
Money and Credit:
$ - Credit cards are a great way of spending money you wish you had. $ - Live within my income? I can't even afford to live within my credit! $ - There are so many good sales with such great savings right now, I'm going to save myself right into bankruptcy. $ - Money talks: Mine says, "Buy-Buy!" $ - Absence makes the heart grow fonder, which may explain why I'm fond of money. $ - Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have? $ - There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody. $ - A lady walks into the bank and says, "I'd like to open a joint account with anybody who has money in it." $ - A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of old bills. $ - The way I see it, when the rich have money, they investand when the poor have money, they eat. $ - I know a guy who didn't have a penny to his name, so he went out and changed his name. $ - The other man's wallet is always greener. $ - Money isn't everything. Sometimes it's not even 99%. $ - I couldn't reduce my bills even if I put them on microfilm. $ - I know a woman that, once she starts a check book can never put I down until she's finished it. $ - Money isn't everything, but it's way ahead of the competition. $ - Money isn't everything, but it sure is a lot of things. $ - Money isn't everything, but you need it to buy the things it isn't. $ - I told my friend that money can't buy happiness but he didn't care . He said he likes money more than happiness
, anyway! $ - Money can't buy happiness, but it sure goes a long way towards the down payment. $ - There are three ways to become a billionaire: Earn it, Inherit it, or Sue for it $ - Money can't buy happiness, but it can take you to a lot more places
to look for it. $ - I keep losing the war on poverty because my money keeps fraternizing with the enemy. $ - There are more important things in life than money, but they all cost money! $ - A wise man once said, "You can marry more money in ten minutes than you can earn in a lifetime." $ - Money isn't everything.... there's credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.
Never...
X - accept a drink from a urologist. - Erma Bombeck X - say 'Oops' in the operating room. - Dr. Leo Troy X - use while sleeping. - Instructions on Conair hair dryer X - stand between a dog and the hydrant. - John Peers X - give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts. - Ruth Gordon
Wanna spread some Sunshine ?
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