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Food for thought from
Visitors since August
Page last updated April 19, 2001
|How we as women communicate
contributes to our image. We sometimes are our own worst enemy and end up sabotaging
our message and invite opposition. Recently, while cleaning out my desk at home, I
found a document that had been given to all the women I was working with from our
employer. I feel it provides some food for thought and has many valid points to
make. I am sharing it with you as I think as women we can benefit from what it has
P.S. Our boss was a woman!
Women seek consensus
We fear being seen as bossy and arrogant. To men, it might look like we do
not believe what we say and that we are incompetent, indecisive. Say it with
authority and confidence but with warmth.
- We worry about politeness
Therefore we often wait our turn to be heard and in some cases never get a chance to
promote our idea, service or product.
We worry about being
described as assertive We fear that we will be stereotyped as unfeminine and
be labeled as an aggressive bitch.
- We seek approval We use words
like "you know", "okay', "right", "do you agree".
- We speak in words that do not project
confidence Instead of saying "I think" try saying "It is my
belief" or "It is my experience". Use third party testimonials for
supporting a point: "My clients tell me that as a result of my services, they
have seen the following results."
- We avoid confrontation by speaking too
softly or ending sentences in a question mark Men perceive women who speak
too softly as insecure and negate the strength of their message. Ending in a
question projects the need for approval.
- We use humour in a self-mocking way
Men interpret this type of humour as if we are putting ourselves down.
- We hesitate to reply to avoid
confrontation Try using "Thank you for your feedback" to avoid
head-on collision. Reply: "However, I believe ... " Never use the word
- We apologize as a way of speaking
I.E.: "I'm sorry to take your time but ...". This may be be
polite but may also be perceived as a lack of confidence.
Like the lyrics of the song says ladies:
"Hold your head up!"
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